Boredom Baking - Also Jasper!

I'd like to blame our daughter for the mess I woke up to on Wednesday. After all, she is home early from college. The coronavirus pandemic saw to that. Like most others, her campus is shut down.

If our world had remained what it was just a few short weeks ago, she would be leaving the cooking to cafeteria workers in her dorm right now. But instead of filling her stomach with the fruits of someone else's labor, she's filling it (and mine) with the fruits of her own. And in the process, leaving our kitchen looking like a freight train crashed into it.

My wife and I are used to running the dishwasher MAYBE once a day. Now, it might as well be a perpetual motion machine. We get up in the morning and start a wash. We run it in the afternoon and a couple times in the evening. Anything we missed gets thrown into a wash we start just before retiring for the night. Pretty soon, I'm not going to be able sleep without the sound of water being sloshed around. The dishwasher is becoming our coronavirus soundtrack.     

After our budding Julia Child initially arrived home for her extended spring break, I needed to go to the grocery store and asked if she wanted anything.

"Yeast!" she replied enthusiastically.

I didn't think anything of her request. She's always liked to bake. I figured it would help her pass the time while we maintain social distance.

Turns out, our daughter isn't the only one who has been bitten by the baking bug. Along with toilet paper, there is also a yeast shortage. Americans are turning to baking while waiting for the all clear. According to data tracked by Nielsen, sales of yeast were up 647% for the week ending March 21st.

I believe it. I had to search a couple different stores to find yeast. And when I did, even the checkout clerk was surprised, and wanted to know where I ran across it.

While I was out, my daughter started baking cookies. Now that she's got yeast, rising dough is a common sight in our kitchen. The trouble is - we now have a storage problem. Our kitchen is bursting with baked goods - cookies, bagels, loaves of bread, even noodles.  I wouldn't be surprised to see a spike in Tupperware sales next week.

Faced with limited storage options, I'm thinking of redirecting our daughter's energy and ordering a huge supply of yarn. I got the idea from a Facebook friend who posted a picture of the truckload his wife ordered. I might throw in a pallet of fabric as well. While my daughter fattens me up, the least she could do is make me some new pants - parachute size, please. I'm going to have to have something to wear, assuming we're ever allowed to return to work.

I started this post intending to tell you about the mess I woke up to Wednesday and got sidetracked by the daily kitchen disarray brought on by boredom baking.

Apologies.

I slept in Wednesday after working my newsroom job from home well into the wee hours. I went to bed about an hour before the sun was due to rise. And when I got up at around noon?

The Ornery Dog Jasper -- back at it again.

He had gotten hold of a roll of paper towels and my old tennis shoes. He even fished a stinky pair of underwear out of the dirty clothes and who knows what else - jumbling them all together on the floor of our TV room and leaving the wreckage for me to clean up.

Of course, I gave him the evil eye.

But that dog is ORNERY.

A short time later, as I was considering the best way to tackle this latest offense, I caught him up on his hind legs straining to reach a pan of freshly baked brownies that was left too close to the edge of the kitchen counter.

JASPER@#$!@#$!%





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